Emotionally Focused Therapy: The Steps Taken

by | Nov 12, 2018 | Couple Counsellor

Emotionally focused therapy centres around your emotions and the responses to your emotions. It was developed in the 1980s when divorce rates were skyrocketing. Psychologists tried to find better ways for couples to resolve differences, which led them to discover that most problems come from emotions that go back and forth. Of course, EFT can be used for a variety of issues and not just with couples. Many couples counsellors do use it as part of the overall counselling to create balance, though it can be used by itself.

Emotionally focused therapy has nine steps within three phases. Phase one focuses on deescalating the problems, and they can talk about the concerns you have, figure out what causes them, what emotions are causing the issue. Phase two focuses on changing the patterns. You both talk about your emotions and desires, but you’re also taught new ways to empathise with your partner. You both learn to express your emotions and how to do so without conflict. The third phase focuses on integration. You learn how to communicate your needs to your partner and how to create new solutions. Of course, then, you must apply what you’ve learned in therapy so that new situations and issues don’t arise.

From 2 to 3 offers couples counselling to married and non-married couples. While she tends to focus on families or those who are starting a family, she knows that emotionally focused therapy can help people work through any conflict, regardless of where you’re at in life. If you just got married, you may need help learning how to process your spouse’s emotions. If you’re pregnant or trying to get pregnant, you may need help sorting those emotions so that you’re happily expecting the birth of your child instead of worrying or stressing.

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